I spoke to a group on Friday and found myself facing a mixed variety of responses. It is true that none of us can read each other minds, or know another persons reaction. I was once taught that I can only be responsible for the words that I say and the intention behind them, I cannot be responsible for how you hear them or interpret them. That might sound obvious to some and ridiculous to others, yet we often misconstrue what is said to us.
When you have a mental health illness this is often compounded hugely and particularly with Anorexia Nervosa. ‘You look well’, ‘Looking healthier’ almost any comment becomes interpreted as ‘you look fat’ or ‘you’ve put weight on’ and is never perceived as a compliment. So many times I held my daughter whilst she tried her hardest to comprehend what was behind people saying things to upset her, to make her feel bad, to send her into a mental whirlpool. They did not mean to do this, this was father from their intention than it could have been, however it was her perception. It was impossible to persuade her of anything else and so frustrating. No matter what you say there is no changing how it is interpreted.
Perhaps ‘Good to see you’, ‘ Have missed seeing you’ anything which is simple. Dont allow yourself to get embroiled in a discussion about whether or not it looks as though they have put on weight, look any bigger/different/fatter or anything like this. It is a road to nowhere other than utter frustration. Yes it is walking on egg shells and double thinking yet can become the norm given time.
So I started this on a murky Sunday afternoon and it is now a sunny evening and I wish you all a peaceful night and love and light always.
