Always so tough

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Love is a term often used and often misused. The love we feel for our children is inexplicable, it is deep, it is pure and it is painful. It is painful when your child becomes the victim of any mental health illness. It is devastating when there is no cure to be found or to magically make appear. To see the mental, physical and emotional pain as they try to make what would have once been a simple decision or action.

You cannot put a sticky plaster on it, rub it better or bandage it up. Society misunderstands and is often vile and unpleasant due to ignorance, they don’t want to know. Unless you, your family or friends are directly affected why would you, how could you? I speak to people to educate them on the illness that killed my daughter, the illness that has the highest mortality rate of any mental health illness, the illness that has a huge suicide rate because the pain is so deep.

To everyone out there who is affected by eating disorders in any way I send my love. I send the hugs I cannot give my daughter for you to share with your loved one right now. To ensure the love you have remains the same and you walk their path with them. Not long before Kae died on 18th March 2018 it was Mother’s Day and Kae always spoilt me. She handed me a card in an envelope that was too big that one of the nurses had found for her.

I will share it one day. It didnt need to be anything more than it was. Her professing her love for me, her thanks for never walking away from her but at her side through all the trials and tribulations she had to endure in 15 years. Thanking me for loving her as much as I could, for being her mumma.


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